A Ghosts Anguish
by Beemerz
Summary: A ghost thinks the things it wishes it could say to its guardian. Forsaken spoilers
1. Chapter 1

My poor broken guardian.

I see you struggling, and I see your sadness written on the vermilion stripe painted on your pauldron.

I know Cayde was your friend, he was mine too. But you cannot blame yourself for what happened. You were not too slow, you were not too weak.

He was our mentor. Our teacher.

But seeing the bloodlust in your eyes as you kill Kell after Kell scares me. This is not what he would want. Vengeance is one thing, but watching you walk the thin line of darkness and light, it kills me.

The path of destruction you leave in our wake makes me think, "I dont think this is why the traveler chose you".

I'll never leave you. I'm here, I'm still here.

Are you still here?

Watching you hear his last words broke my heart. I had no idea what to say.

Watching you carry his limp corpse to our ship was the hardest thing I've done. I tried to talk to you, but you didn't say a word. You took his cloak as your own, per hunter tradition, and we flew to the vanguard.

Can you hear me? I'm still here.

Are you?

You spoke your first words when the vanguard were on the cusp of a schism.

"Uldren is mine."

The pure anger in your eyes frightens me to this day, as they haven't stopped burning with that same inferno.

You chased murderer after murderer and I tried my best to keep you morally sound. You're on a rampage... and I'm not comfortable with it.

Tell me how you feel. I want to know so I can help you. I am your partner. Your ghost. You have many friends that can help you, you needn't shoulder you're sadness alone.

I wish we would go home. I'm tired, guardian.

I don't want to lose you to this.

I love you.


	2. Chapter 2

"Guardian... Guardian can you hear me?"

My ghost. She's worried, and she has every right to be.

Uldren is dead. By my hand, with the gun he used to kill my best friend. My mentor.

I can feel the soft rage bubble within my soul. Whatever's left of it after that slaughter.

I killed all of them.

Fikrul, the trickster, the mechanist.

I killed so many I forgot their names.

And I took my time with the sharpshooter.

"Guardian, im right here, can you feel me?"

I hear her. Muffled and drowned as her voice is.

It's like listening to her through an ocean of sadness, a volcano of anger.

I'm so angry. It's all I've felt since I took the vow of Caydes cloak. A hunters vow.

I don't know anything about the dare as I killed the only person that could take Caydes place.

I'm so alone.

Ace and his cloak are all that's left of the man I looked up to.

He always said I was to serious, that I'd fit in well as a titan.

But he never looked at me as less of a hunter for that, I know I'm skilled, I also know I'm special.

But what is all that skill and divine gifts if I couldn't save the only man I should have?

The tears start to fall as I look toward the vermilion stripe on my arm. The sadness I feel drowns the anger as all I can feel is pain.

Oh Cayde... Everything you taught me didn't tell me anything about what to do when you were gone.

I pull my self up as my ghost keeps talking. I can't hear her now. Her voice is so distant.

Then I see it.

A lone man with his cloak swaying in the wind of the EDZ.

I knew someone was following me. Ace is drawn but I don't point it at him, as a fellow hunter would easily not need a gun.

"Guardian, were you listening?"

She looks at me expectantly as I square off against the unknown hunter.

I notice his cannon and recognize the heft.

The last word.

"Shin" I call out.

"Guardian, I've been searching for you.

You're certainly a hard man to find."

"That was the point." I grunt as I holster ace.

"I got a job for you."

Shin placed his hands along his belt, and begins making his way toward me.

"For me? What could the great renegade have for me?" The sarcasm drips as I say it.

"The darkness." He replies "A certain drifter has taken residence in the tower and I want your help with a job."

For now, my sadness quells and anger takes forefront. Darkness always made me mad since uldren and riven.

"Deal"


End file.
